Today was Ikea shopping day. Off to buy furniture for the redone bedroom. I sat in the truck in our driveway waiting for my husband to rummage through the shed to find his bungee cords and such to tie the furniture onto the truck. It was a long wait. I was cold, and starring up at the new leaves on the trees, it dawned on me how hard waiting is for me. As I sat there, my waiting song sang through my head:
“They that wait upon the lord, shall renew their strength,
They shall mount up with wings as eagles,
They shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint,
Teach me lord, teach me lord, to wait.”
Today involved a lot more waiting since Ikea was packed. I think everyone is redoing rooms this weekend. There was waiting to get help, waiting to checkout, and once again, freezing, while waiting with the loaded cart for my husband to go get the truck.
Upon arriving home, getting the furniture inside, and finally, six hours later, I get to flop into my chair with my left over Pino Grigio. I’m sitting here now waiting for dinner. My husband left to go to the store and bring it home. I figured I’d read some recent blog posts of some of the other blogs I follow while waiting. I opened up the first one and the title was: “Don’t Despise the Process”. Hmmm…I wondered what the process was. The author started out with this quote by Hammond/Cameneti.
“There are some people whose personalities need to be changed and rearranged before they can fit into the place where they have been called. If you sow time waiting in God’s presence, you’ll reap the results.”
I guess my message from God and the universe today can’t be much clearer. I really have to reign in this aversion to waiting. I have situations in my life that I want settled right now. I want to stamp my feet and yell at God, “Now! I want it now!” You, me and God know that just ain’t gonna happen. May is going to be “Linda is going to learn to wait month.”
I’m going to hate this and fight it all the way. I want my house done. I want my book published. I want my writing career to gain momentum. I want a relationship fixed. I want…I want…. I want everything, but I don’t want to wait for it. I know I’m just not ready yet for some of these things to happen. Like it says above, my personality is going to have to be changed and rearranged before I can accept graciously and flourish in the things I want. To get them prematurely would be certain disaster. Nothing works to the good if the timing isn’t just right. I know this. You know this. Most of all, God knows this.
Just because we all know it, it doesn’t mean I have to like it. It says I have to “sow time in God’s presence”, not like time in it. There are times we are called to sit in God’s presence and it isn’t going to be pleasant. It’s going to be work. Necessary, satisfying work; like that of running a marathon or doing a triathlon. Hard, painful, but when we cross the finish line – oh so worth it. I picture the runners I saw last week fall over the finish line in the Boston Marathon. When they hit the pavement, hands and feet splayed out in all directions, they knew, at that moment, they were just where they were meant to be.
I just looked up from my phone and my eyes fell on my mantle and settled on a mug I have on there. The mug says “relax”. Relax. Wait. Don’t despise the process.
And so, as another day goes by, a new month, with new lessons, is on the horizon, let the waiting game begin, and…I have written.
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