This past week I’ve learned a thing or two about wisdom. It’s not anything like my perception of it was. I always thought wisdom was knowing what was right in a certain situation and making sure the people involved knew it too. Not in a bad, self-serving, way of course, but always in a loving, helpful way. The old cliche “The road to hell is paved with good intentions” comes to mind as I write this. I’ve been to hell and back on this particular train. It’s about time I note the train number and avoid this route.
This week I’ve come to learn there are two parts to wisdom:
1. Having a lot to say..and…
2. Not saying it
I’ve realized that there are good things to come from not spouting off my “helpful” wisdom. First of all, it allows others to hear themselves talk. Sometimes I just need to be a reflecting shield and let people hear what they are trying to say. This gives them the chance to work through their issues and really learn from their experiences. By not jumping in and telling them what I know is right, they fix it themselves just by having me listen. Second, keeping my self-proclaimed wisdom to myself allows me to hear what their hearts are really saying. Instead of “Here’s what you should do”, I am now free to convey quiet empathy and understanding, an opportunity that I would’ve run right over and missed had I been focused on fixing it for them.
I also learned about knowing when to speak my wise gems of knowledge. The answer to this conundrum, like many, was so simple: When they ask. Imagine. That simple. When they ask.
Parents take heed. Our children are more capable than we give them credit for – especially when they aren’t children anymore. I know we want to protect them and show them an easier way than we may have had, but I’ve learned that maybe traveling some of our roads themselves is by far the better way grow in a way that I’d want them to, rather than being sheltered from it.
This one was an eye-opener. I was going to print the photo below and hang it on my bathroom mirror, but instead I think it will stick longer if I take the time to paint or draw my own rendition of it.
And do, as another day goes by, for the second time in two days, less REALLY is more, and ….I have written.
I learned long time ago the best way to learn something new is to just keep your mouth shut and listen. Especially in networking for business. People find themselves fascinating. You just have to ask the right question and let ’em rip.
Re: kids / friends with issues… same thing. Just ask the right question and stand back. The answers, revelations come and wisdom for all is the result.
And that’s what I have to say on the subject. Now I’ll just be quiet and let someone else comment. 🙂
I absolutely love your take on this! Thanks for reading and commenting, Pat!
You cant give up on the things you love, not ever…
Charlotte ~ Private Practice
Sent from my iPhone…
Linda Bartosik 🙂