When I taught kindergarten, and I saw one child hit another I’d go over and ask why he/she hit the other child. Inevitably the answer was always “he/she hit me first”. I ask both children to apologize, but to the one who was hit first, an injustice is done and the child needs to learn to handle all the injustices that life is going to dish out. I explain that even though they were hit first, it was their reaction that makes them also responsible for all the rest of the hitting. I tell them to go tell an adult the next time someone does something to them. We try to teach our children to be kinder, gentler, individuals by taking responsibility for their reactions, as well as their actions, accepting the apology of another, and build tolerance for the mistakes to be made by themselves and others in the years to come.
Somehow, as we grow, due to basic human nature, this lesson is never really learned, and we repeat the same behavior. As adults, in an altercation, it doesn’t matter who said or did what. What matters is how you react. When someone hurts you, if you react inappropriately, and hurt back, you are ultimately to blame, no one else. It was your reaction. You had the power to change it, but you chose not to. You hurt back. You have to take responsibility for your reaction, and apologize.
If governments and countries acted accordingly, we could achieve world peace. If the formula is so simple kindergartners could pull it off, then why don’t we have world peace?
The answer: Apology not accepted.
So much for kinder, gentler, individuals.
And so, as another day goes by, it’s REALLY true that all you ever need to know you learn in kindergarten, and…I have written.
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