“Show”, don’t “tell” is a cardinal rule of the written page. If an author does not completely climb into the characters head and “let go”, readers will pick that up immediately and just as immediately probably put the book down because no emotional connection has been made. As a reader, you can always tell when an author is “telling” instead of “showing” because your initial reaction will be boredom.
I used to read books exclusively as a reader, and very rarely do I ever put a book down without finishing it, so when that happens, I look at the book collecting dust and wonder just why I can’t pick that book back up. Now, I read mostly as a writer and understand why I really don’t want to finish that book. I like to be involved in discovering the what makes each character tick through their actions and conversations. That’s what keeps me turning the page. If I’m told what the the character is feeling or why they are doing something, I quickly lose interest in a story that doesn’t involve me.
Sometimes life works exactly the same way and we would be wise to apply the writer’s rule. How many times has someone told you they were going to do something or act a certain way, over and over and they just don’t deliver. How many times have you done that to someone else?
I’m guilty. Many times I promise to be this way or that way from now on, but I end up saying over and over “Oh yeah, I meant to, but….”, and it never happens. I’m like the book that never gets finished. I’ve decided to reach into my recovery toolbox and grab the tool that tells me not to set myself up for failure. From now on, I don’t tell people what I’m going to do. I decide the best course of action in my mind, and then do it. Instead of telling them, then trying to live up to the stage I’ve set, I just go ahead and show them. Without the pressure of watchful eyes, I’m able to grow and change and work toward my goals in relationships at my own pace. When I tell someone in advance my plan to change, it’s like now they’re standing there with their arms folded, waiting and watching. I get anxious and pressured and just fold and quit trying. Now I adopt the writer’s rule – show, don’t tell.
In order for me to effectively make changes in myself I need to start in somewhat of a cocoon until I get my confidence. It works in relationships, writing, fitness, career, business, yoga, home improvement, etc. Decide what needs to be done to make positive changes, make a plan and just start without announcing your intentions to anyone. Pretty soon the changes will start to evidence themselves in these areas of your life.
Awhile ago I was learning deference – not always telling everyone, everything. Sometimes it’s good to keep the energy contained within myself so it can be used to effect the change. I have learned that many times depleting the energy sabotages the journey.
And so, as another day goes by, “show, don’t tell” reaches farther than the written page, and…I have written.
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