It’s been a rough week. Lots of appointments and commitments, but also some revisiting of old ghosts. After you’ve worked hard, moved on after loss, restructured your life, made new goals, you end up a little exhausted. That leaves you vulnerable. When you’re vulnerable, things you fought and thought you came to terms with in the past, sneak up on you.
That has been my story this week.
I had to go right back to my five principles I learned last year:
1. Be a vehicle for the spirit
2. Give gratitude
3. Practice deference
4. Be custodial and take care of all God has given you
5. God provides the energy for all you do
In addition to going back to these, I needed to rest and regain my strength. As in anything that’s hard, once you feel you’ve conquered it, you once again think you’re invincible and immune. It’s like recovering from a physical illness or injury – the minute you feel better, you think it’s over and you can resume your normal pace or don’t need your medication anymore, and we all know that is never true. All of a sudden, whoops, a piece of shrapnel gets loose.
Today I had to come back to NY to get my car inspected. The timing was perfect. I needed a change of venue, time with my husband and dad, and the warm blanket of returning to the town of my past. Tonight we went out for dinner and drinks at a favorite local haunt, and it just felt comfortable.
When the path starts getting confusing, stop and run back to what you know. Go to where you found comfort in the past. It’s like getting a drink of water when your throat is parched. Ask for comfort from your Higher Power. Revisit old haunts. Connect with those you know love you no matter what. Give gratitude you have places of comfort and sustenance to go to.
And so, as another day goes by, I am so thankful for all that my past has provided to help me with my future, and … I have written.
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